Joke #2795

A school in the United States is on fire. One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them. After half of an hour the upper fireman asks: Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids? Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy "Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared." Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.

"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."

Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.

A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!" As scared as they are, they all make it out the door. The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand. Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"

Doctor to patient: "Why are you nervous?" Patient: "Because this is the first item I am going to have An operation." Doctor: "But I am not nervous though this is going to be my first operation."

I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.

An Arabic kid joined my football team. All he did was blow the plays.

"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?" "He was sacked for making a grave mistake."