A school in the United States is on fire.
One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them.
After half of an hour the upper fireman asks:
Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids?
Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
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Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan?
A: With a dustpan.
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In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people.
It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch.
Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104.
We called her Aunt Tique.
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Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working?
A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
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Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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An Asian walks into a McDonald's and says, "I'll Have An Eggroll and Some Fry Rye."
"I'm sorry sir we don't serve that. Would you like anything else?"
"I have quarter pounder. And when would you like to pick that up...Hiroshima!"
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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her crack.
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Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.
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What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea?
A good start.
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