A school in the United States is on fire. One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them. After half of an hour the upper fireman asks: Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids? Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you’re in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy says, "I’d like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I’d like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I’d like to hear them say…… look at him, he's moving!"
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden? Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car? A: 2 in the back 2 in the front and 6.23 million in the ashtray.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
I gas the only problem I have with the wold now is all the deutchbags.
What goes: "Click-is that it? Click-is that it? Click-is that it?" A blind person with a rubix cube.
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.