What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
What has more brains than a dead baby? The wall behind it.
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.