Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.