Joke #11103

Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity

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Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a pig ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t. The pig was killed. The President told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later the driver staggers back to the car with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily. “What happened?” asked the President. “Well,” the driver replied “the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me.” “My God, what did you tell them?” asked the President. The driver replied: “I’m Bill Clinton’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”
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has 83.45 % from 360 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, celebrity, death, political
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks. ''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?'' The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'' ''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.'' The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'' The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, money, music
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, love
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, sport
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, Chuck Norris, war
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.
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has 18.69 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death