Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee.
His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"
Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.
"That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor.
She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.
Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: Homework!
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle.
When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish.
The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.
The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow.
The diner agrees.
The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish.
When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small.
He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?"
Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."