Joke #11219

It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death

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One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. "My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied. "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your cat!"
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has 85.82 % from 1175 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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has 85.38 % from 1925 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. " The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."
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has 85.26 % from 811 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, death, time
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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has 84.97 % from 745 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed. He asks the veterinarian: Is my cat still alive? Still not...
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has 84.57 % from 3205 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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has 84.53 % from 457 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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has 84.49 % from 915 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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has 84.40 % from 318 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking?" asked the officer. "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?" "Yes." "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked." "Yes." "What were you doing during all this?" "Driving" motioned the monkey.
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has 83.71 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cop, death