Joke #11293

Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, food, sport

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Q: What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a salad?rnA: The salad is dressed.
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has 85.98 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, food
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."
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has 85.91 % from 4752 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, food, love
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe. It's now called Shakey's.
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has 85.61 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, food
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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has 85.37 % from 491 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, heaven, sport
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
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has 82.27 % from 1033 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made. The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees. The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".
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has 81.70 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, travel
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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has 81.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, love, men
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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has 80.93 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
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has 80.45 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars. The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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has 79.57 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, Chuck Norris