Joke #11336

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR? A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.

Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle? A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.

I would make a Sodium joke But Na

Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it." The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."