Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that."
Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him.
The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
Little Johnny was a chemist.
Little Johnny is no more.
What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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