Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
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Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon.
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Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
