Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
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Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.