Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?
He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked... with beer.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
A guy and a girl meet at a bar.
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.
The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist”
The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.”
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.