Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Little Johnny was a chemist.
Little Johnny is no more.
What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.
The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?"
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'."
The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you."
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."
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Joke has 70.91 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: love, mean, relationship, romantic, Valentines day
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove?
About a half an hour...
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis.
He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"
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Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
My wife and I really love bondage.
She loves it because she's a kinky bitch.
I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day.
“Are you hurt?” she asks.
She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”