Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR? A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na
Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? A: Classical conditioning.
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.