What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat".
The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as.
"I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job.
The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for.
"Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
"Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible."
The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited.
"Wow. Are you kidding?"
"Yeah. But you started it."
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Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant?
A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
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