What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
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"The auditors have just left, sir."
"Did they check the books?"
"Very thoroughly."
"What did they say?"
"They want 15% to keep quiet."
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Q: What did the constipated mathematician do?
A: He worked it out with a pencil!
What do you call an accountant with an opinion?
An auditor.
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The clerk walks into the boss's office and says,
"The auditors have just left, sir."
"Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss.
"Very thoroughly," is the reply.
"Well, what did they say", says the boss.
"They want 15% to keep quiet."
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