Joke #11772

Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, math, nerd

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
Vote: has 83.94 % from 663 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, nerd, sex
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Vote: has 73.01 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, hunting, math, nerd
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, math, work
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, math
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, nerd
Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover? A: Your mouse pad.
Vote: has 81.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, nerd, technology
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
Vote: has 72.06 % from 292 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, science
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don’t know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn’t know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well... what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says…go to hell... that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger."
Vote: has 73.31 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, lawyer, money
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
Vote: has 76.32 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, food, nerd