Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
An accountant is walking along the beach (also, not the joke) and he finds an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it and of course, a genie appears. The genie says "I am the most powerful genie that has ever lived. I can do great and wonderful things and I can grant you your dearest wish. But only one." Well, this accountant is a deeply caring individual. He pulls out a map of the Mediterranean area and says, "My dearest wish is that you solve the Arab-Israeli conflict in the Middle East." The genie strokes his beard and looks worried. "Oh dear, " he says , staring at the map. "That's a tough one. Those people have been fighting for eons. No one has been able to come up with a successful solution. I'm not sure if I could do any better. You should probably make another wish." The accountant is understanding and says, "All right. Listen, the IRS has asked me to re-design their 1040 form so that everyone can understand it. Can you help me with that?" There's a long silence and finally the genie says, "Let's have another look at that map."
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na