Joke #11772

Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
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A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
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Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
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An accountant is walking along the beach (also, not the joke) and he finds an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it and of course, a genie appears. The genie says "I am the most powerful genie that has ever lived. I can do great and wonderful things and I can grant you your dearest wish. But only one." Well, this accountant is a deeply caring individual. He pulls out a map of the Mediterranean area and says, "My dearest wish is that you solve the Arab-Israeli conflict in the Middle East." The genie strokes his beard and looks worried. "Oh dear, " he says , staring at the map. "That's a tough one. Those people have been fighting for eons. No one has been able to come up with a successful solution. I'm not sure if I could do any better. You should probably make another wish." The accountant is understanding and says, "All right. Listen, the IRS has asked me to re-design their 1040 form so that everyone can understand it. Can you help me with that?" There's a long silence and finally the genie says, "Let's have another look at that map."
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Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
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Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.
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Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na
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