I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians" "Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?" "I am! But how did you know?" "Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I needed, and you told me in such a way that it's no use to me at all!" "Dang! By the way, are you a principal investigator?" "Geeze! How'd you know that?" "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air, you start asking questions after you get into trouble, and you're in exactly the same spot you were a few minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
I'll admit that the Chinese kids in math class are pretty smart. But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky.
Why did I divide sin by tan? Just cos.
Q: What is the most erotic number? A: 2110593! Q: Why? A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3.
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.
Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2? Student: Why? Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A:Because you can't drink and derive...