I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
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Why are rabbits like calculators?
They both multiply a lot.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Billy: "I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me."
Mark: "Haha, how does an Asian cross you?"
Billy: "Because he crosses multiplies."
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
Q. What mode do you use in maths?
A. Multi-plyers.
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home.
He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?"
His father replied, "Figure it out."
Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?"
The teacher said: "Figure it out."
Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.
A statistician's wife had twins.
He was delighted.
He rang the minister who was also delighted.
"Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister.
"No," replied the statistician.
"Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.
At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000.
The first question was what is 10 plus 11?
She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!"
The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect."
All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5."
She answers and says "20".
Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2."
The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"