Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"
Q: Where do you find elves? A: Depends where you left them!
Three guys are stranded on a island; black guy, white guy, and a Mexican. They come across a Indian tribe, the chief said" go into the forest and pick a fruit and bring it back. We are going to shove it up your ass, if you scream we will cut off your head". The white guy goes in and brings back a banana they shove it up his ass he screamed soo they cut off his head. The Mexican goes in and comes back with a grape they shove it up his ass he screams. They all look at his and ask" why you scream?" The Mexican says" because the black guy is coming back with a watermelon.
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school? A: The "elf"-abet!
First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?" Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.