Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
A: Why, shortbread of course!
Similar jokes
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One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant?
An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status?
A: Elf-employed.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: "Wrap" music!
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen.
While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza.
The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt.
As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest.
Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger.
The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit.
Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen.
"That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"
My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals.
Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.”
“Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied.
A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him after wards.
“We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested.
I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order.
My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate checks, please…”
Vote:
How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"