Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Q: What kind of money do elves use? A: Jingle bills!
75% of women do not eat after 6... shots.
Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
I'm not saying I'm racist at all, but... I put chocolate milk in back of the fridge.
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.