Joke #1755

Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
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has 73.08 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: food, sport

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On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
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has 61.99 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: food, sport, Yo mama
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: food, gym, kids, sport
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: food, sport
"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end." "People who go out of their way to help others have great taste." "An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry." "Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue." "A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble." "The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew." "It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea." "You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried." "If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon." "Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner." "Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, sport, travel
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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has 40.46 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, sport
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, food, sport
A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on that trip won $100,000. He didn't want anyone to know about it, so he decided not to return with the others, but took a later plane home - arriving back 3 a.m. He immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door, which was owned by a deaf-mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol, the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man's house. "You tell this guy that if he doesn't give me back my $100,000 I'm going to kill him!" he screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend, and his friend replied in sign language, "I hid it in my backyard, underneath the cherry tree." The professor turned to the man with the gun and said, "He's not going to tell you. He said he'd rather die first."
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: sport
The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: history, sport
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
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has 80.41 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sport, women