Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
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A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral.
A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said.
"It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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The Democrats have a lot of contenders for the presidential election in 2020.
This includes Anthony Weiner and Eric Holder - we are already seeing bumper stickers that say "WEINER HOLDER 2020".
Q: How many Democrats does it take to clean up a disastrous Bush presidency?
A: At least two!
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A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful!
But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic!
What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible!
I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people?
A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels.
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals?
A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
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