Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
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A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral.
A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said.
"It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere.
He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head.
He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard" and scratchs out his spelling error.
"Head on bouelevard" Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch.
"Head on boolevard..." dang it! Scratch scratch.
He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head.
"Head on curb."
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them cause they will never see the light.
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If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself.
A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists.
"What are you doing." they ask her.
So she replies "Hanging myself."
The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck."
The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."
Q: Famous last words of a bomb disposal expert?
A: "Yes, the red wire."
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Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
Answer: A widow.