Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal? A: Thirty minutes of begging.
What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
An Indian soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Indian army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in a Pakistani tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the Border. As I saw a Pakistani tank. I put my white flag up, the Pakistani tank put his white flag up. I said to the Pakistani soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
Work emails are like the gym. You sign up for it thinking it will be loads of fun. You get bored of it within hours. You only keep going to keep up your reputation. The more you stay away, the harder it is to go back.
Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common? A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.