Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
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The Democrats have a lot of contenders for the presidential election in 2020.
This includes Anthony Weiner and Eric Holder - we are already seeing bumper stickers that say "WEINER HOLDER 2020".
The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk.
The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb.
Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.
Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.
Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.
Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.
The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed.
When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?"
To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
Vote:
Q: What did the farmer say when he is driving down the road on a steep hill and his right front wheel falls off?
A: "You picked a poor time to leave me loose wheel."
Vote:
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax?
A: After it reaches 95%
God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
First the good news.
I have given you a brain and a p***s.
The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"