Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
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The Democrats have a lot of contenders for the presidential election in 2020.
This includes Anthony Weiner and Eric Holder - we are already seeing bumper stickers that say "WEINER HOLDER 2020".
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day.
As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision.
After careful consideration, he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves.
Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves.
His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time.
The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up.
The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties.
The young man mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note:
"This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.
These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely."
I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again."
When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
Just think how many times I'll be kissing them in the future. I hope you'll wear them Friday night for me."
Love, Cuddle Bear
PS: The sales lady says the latest style is to wear them folded down with just a little fur showing.
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Joke has 84.71 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: customer service, family, love, time, Valentines day
A true meaning of the word DEMOCRATS:
Dangerous
Excessive
Member
Of
Crazy
Rats
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I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi.
They call it the "fullacrapuccino".
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Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon.
For a long time, they could not decide upon any game.
Suddenly, Jenny had an idea.
She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools".
"OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."
Got home from the pub at 3'o clock this morning.
The wife was waiting at the door with a rolling pin.
I said to her, "what are you doing..baking..at this time of the night" ?
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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An Indian and an African walk into a bar...
Just jokin'.
It's just two liberal white women.
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Chuck Norris made time wait.
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