Joke #11475

Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal? A: Thirty minutes of begging.

The Democrats have a lot of contenders for the presidential election in 2020. This includes Anthony Weiner and Eric Holder - we are already seeing bumper stickers that say "WEINER HOLDER 2020".

Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi. They call it the "fullacrapuccino".

Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $5,000,000.00 which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, devotion to duty, thrift, efficiency, shrewd investment. And the death of an uncle who left him $4,999,999.50.

Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common? A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.

In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.

An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.

In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. "Excuse me," she said to the manager. "My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks." "I’m awfully sorry," he replied, "but all of our rooms are occupied." Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. "What luck," said Mrs. Goldstein. "Now there’s a room. "Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed." "Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic." "I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?" "Jesus, Son of Mary." "Where was he born?" "In a stable." "And why was he born in a stable?" "Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!"