Joke #1145

Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial. When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered. Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Never borrow money from optimists – they always expect to get it back.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
Vote: has 79.38 % from 441 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, life, mexican, money, racist
Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk. 5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King. 6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot. 7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you. 8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den. 9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit. 10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money, soccer
Why are men like bank accounts? Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest!
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.
Vote: has 55.17 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, game, money, Santa
Jesus saves. But wouldn’t it have been better if he had invested?
Vote: has 27.32 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Why’s a fat woman like a skateboard? They’re both fun to ride, but you wouldn’t want your friends to see you on one.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money