Joke #11504

Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, hipster

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Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!
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Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
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I'm so hipster, even I've never heard of my favorite band.
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A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, kids
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
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has 69.45 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: hipster, light bulb
The world is like a jar of jelly beans. Everybody hates the black ones.
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has 68.45 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, racist
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you." The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun. After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! " The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
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has 80.38 % from 3840 votes. More jokes about: god, hipster, sex
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: hipster, life, work
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
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has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food, heaven