Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Once there was a bartender who claimed he was the strongest man on earth, he could squeeze every drop of juice out of a lemon and he bet $10,000 that no one could squeeze anymore out of a lemon he has squeezed People came in from all over the country, body builders, weight lifters, wrestlers, or anyone that wanted to try. But no one could squeeze anymore juice out of the lemons. Then one day a little nerdy looking guy walks in and everyone laughs at him when they hear he is there to try to squeeze a lemon. So the bartender squeezes a lemon into a cup an hands him what is left over. Then the guy squeezes out 6 more drops of juice, and everyone is amazed! "What do you do for a living?" they would ask, "Are you a weight lifter, a body builder?" "No", he replied. "I work for the IRS."
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.