Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
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During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide.
Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me."
He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
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A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree.
He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?"
"Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house.
They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says,
"Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds?
It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.
Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give
5 to Priya,
3 to Sonia and
2 to Penny then what will you get?"
"3 new Girlfriends!"
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