Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Yo mama is so skinny that she eats a nut and thoughts that she’s pregnant...
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway? A: Because its underground.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.