Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!
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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
I'm so hipster, even I've never heard of my favorite band.
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it!
You never know when you might need a nail.
A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano.
"Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!" Says the man.
"Oh, well there's this genie round the back of bar, and he grants you whatever wish you want."
Sure enough, the man goes round the back of the bar and there sits a genie.
"You grant wishes right?"
"Yes." replies the genie.
"Hmm, I'd like a million bucks."
Then, out of nowhere, a million ducks appear, and waddle behind the annoyed man as he goes back into the bar.
"Look, that genie gave me ducks instead of bucks!"
His friends sitting at the table replies,
"Well yeah, do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"
Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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