Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!
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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
I'm so hipster, even I've never heard of my favorite band.
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because its underground.
Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
Vote:
Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help.
One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay.
The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die.
So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist.
He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
Sign at a gay nudist colony: "Gentlemen playing leapfrog are requested to complete their leaps!"
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?"
Justin said, "If I were a boy."
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
Vote:
A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class.
She would tell the class the word and its meaning, then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word for the day.
One day, the teacher said that the word for the day was "frugal."
She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves.
She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word.
The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand.
Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story:
"There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower.
There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out.
One day, she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing.
The princess called out of the tower, 'Frugal me! Frugal me!'
So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after."