The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
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A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp.
The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom.
"First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is."
"Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate."
"Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
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You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said
"I bet I can walk across the water."
He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said
"They did it that means I do it." ,
He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?"
Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
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Yo momma so fat, she fell into a black hole and it clogged!
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Yo mama so fat that she walked out to a party wearing heels and came back wearing flip-flops.
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
AA By his net income.
Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!