The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
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A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp.
The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom.
"First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is."
"Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate."
"Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
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You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Jesus walks into an inn and hands the innkeeper 3 nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?"
Workplaces are like septic tanks: All the biggest lumps eventually rise to the top.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxipad.
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."
"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied.
"Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!
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Don't stand around doing nothing.
People will think you're the boss.
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Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.