Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year? A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Well goodnight everyone. I have to get up early tomorrow to do nothing and still make more money than all of you!
Q: What's in the wardrobe? A: Narnia business.
Q: Why can't women read maps? A: Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.
God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.