A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
The Democrats have a lot of contenders for the presidential election in 2020. This includes Anthony Weiner and Eric Holder - we are already seeing bumper stickers that say "WEINER HOLDER 2020".
A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States." The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?" Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi. They call it the "fullacrapuccino".
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections? A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people? A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year? A: They couldn't find the three wise men!