Joke #11579

Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs!
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A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic. "Everything ok with your car now?" "Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies. "Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?" "Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!
Vote: has 72.99 % from 135 votes. Send joke:

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Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes. Morris shouted across the garage, "Hey DeBakey! Is dat you? Come on ova' here a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was working on the car. Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at dis here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish dis baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get da big bucks, when you an' me is doing basically da same work?" Dr. DeBakey leaned over and whispered to Morris the loudmouth mechanic. "Try doing it with the engine running."
Vote: has 79.35 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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Here is an actual list of aircraft problems reported by pilots at the end of the day for the mechanics to fix before takeoff the next day followed by the notes the mechanics left for the pilots to read the next morning. (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire (P) Something loose in cockpit (S) Something tightened in cockpit (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear (S) Evidence removed (P) DME volume unbelievably loud (S) Volume set to more believable level (P) Number three engine missing (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search
Vote: has 72.95 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
Vote: has 64.35 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

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A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. "What's the story?" she asked. "Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied. "How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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