Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter? A: Long Johns!
Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website? Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.
I thought I told you to lose weight. Says the coach. What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep? Well, I finished it in three days!
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of his pants. The bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that hurt?" The pirate growls, "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."
Billy: "I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me." Mark: "Haha, how does an Asian cross you?" Billy: "Because he crosses multiplies."
A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks down and says, "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants" The pirate replies, "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts."
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!