Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
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A pirate walks into a bar and sits down.
The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't help but notice when you walked in.
Is that a steering wheel hung between your legs?"
"Aye!" replied the pirate, "And it's drivin' me nuts!"
Q: How do pirates make their money?
A: By hook or by crook!
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt.
After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir."
At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon.
The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.
"Get my brown pants."
One day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.
Smiling the Lord proclaimed,
"You don't have a chance; I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here".
"Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires."
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.
"I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends.
"I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition."
"Batted .007," his wife added.
How did Captain Hook die?
He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
Vote:
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer.
It was to keep his teeth in.
Q: How does David Beckham change a light bulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.