Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers?
In case they get a hole in one!
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
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Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
A psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving give an oral quiz to the freshman class.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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Q: Why is horse racing so romantic?
A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
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