Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers? In case they get a hole in one!
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their jobs. One guy says, ''I'm a YUPPIE...ya know...Young, Urban, Professional. The second guy says, ''I'm a DINK ...ya know...Double Income No Kids.'' They asked the woman, ''What are you?'' She replied... ''I'm a WIFE...ya know... WASH, IRON, FUCK, ETC.''
What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? "When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!
Q: How does David Beckham change a light bulb? A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately. ‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man. ‘Watch them!’ says his wife. ‘You already know how to play volleyball.’
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
Two alpinists on a mountain: One of them falls in a crack, the other jumps at the hole and screams after the other one: Are you hurt? Noooooo! He hears. How come? I’m still fallinnnnnnn!
I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!" But the man protested and replied: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."