Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
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Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, "Who turned of the lights".
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty!
Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
Yo' Mama is so fat, local night clubs had to put up signs that read, "Maximum Occupancy: 240 or Yo' Mama."
A pirate walks into a bar and sits down.
The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't help but notice when you walked in.
Is that a steering wheel hung between your legs?"
"Aye!" replied the pirate, "And it's drivin' me nuts!"
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C!
Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid.
Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?
A: You would think R but it is the C that love.
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A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea.
The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks.
Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman.
"What about your hook"?
"Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords.
One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman.
"How did you get the eye patch"?
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"