Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
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Yo Momma is so fat…
that when she wore a blue and green sweater,everyone thought she was Planet Earth.
Yo mama so ugly when she went outside it was a black out.
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea.
The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks.
Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman.
"What about your hook"?
"Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords.
One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman.
"How did you get the eye patch"?
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
How did Captain Hook die?
He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
Yo mama's so fat that when she wore a red shirt, people said hey look koolaid.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of his pants.
The bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that hurt?"
The pirate growls, "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty!
My mama would whip my butt so bad in the grocery store, they would announce it on the speakers.
Yo Mommas so stupid she got lost in a telephone booth.
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.