Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she invented a ventilated condom.
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea.
The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks.
Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman.
"What about your hook"?
"Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords.
One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman.
"How did you get the eye patch"?
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
Yo mama's so stupid she tried comiting suicide by jumping of a tall building but got lost on the way down.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when I asked what was for dinner, she took off her shoe and said, "Corns."
Yo mama is so dark that that she can leave fingerprints on carbon.
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt.
After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir."
At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon.
The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.
"Get my brown pants."
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Yo' Mama is so stupid, her wig has a chinstrap.