Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall.
This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
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Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve?
A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September?
A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?"
So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
No sense in playing Clue with Chuck Norris, we know it was Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick in any room.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing.
As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
Do you know why the Earth's spinning ?
Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
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Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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