Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve?
A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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Q: What do New Year's Parades have in common with Santa Claus?
A: No one is awake to see either of them.
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door?
Too Late!
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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