Joke #9670

Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, new year

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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, new year, technology
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.
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Chuck Norris said "come on" and "on" came.
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Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
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has 35.20 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: new year, poems, winter
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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has 84.96 % from 463 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, technology
My New Years resolution is 1080p.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: new year, technology