Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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Chuck Norris made an armless man tap out.
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Q: What does it mean if you were born in September?
A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!
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On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing.
As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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