Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.
"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.
But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise."
My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
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Q: What does it mean if you were born in September?
A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
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