Joke #9670

Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
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Q: What do New Year's Parades have in common with Santa Claus? A: No one is awake to see either of them.
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Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve? A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
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Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
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Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
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Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!
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James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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