Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.
"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.
But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise."
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
Vote:
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve?
A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
Vote:
My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?"
So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
Vote:
Chuck Norris does not know about this website.
If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
Vote: