Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve? A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man." And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"