Joke #11879

Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance? A: To snowballs.
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has 63.12 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: winter

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My mother has painted a picture with such cold colours that if I want to take a look at it closely, I must have an anorak, the gloves, the winter cap and a scarf on, not to freeze.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: family, winter
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. you're losing part of your load". She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. you're losing part of your load." The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MA'AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK......."
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid, winter
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
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has 40.31 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport, winter
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
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has 66.17 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
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has 27.59 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: new year, poems, winter
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
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has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank.
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has 56.75 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: money, winter
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? A: Have an ice day!
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: winter
To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
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has 66.27 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems, winter
After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge. As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed. Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!" A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!" I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."
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has 67.39 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, sex, sport, winter