Joke #11879

Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance? A: To snowballs.
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has 63.12 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: winter

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Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
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Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
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Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf? A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."
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Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
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has 73.41 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: hipster, love, winter
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
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has 35.51 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death, travel, winter
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
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has 66.17 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
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has 84.01 % from 814 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, technology, wife, winter
In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. "Excuse me," she said to the manager. "My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks." "I’m awfully sorry," he replied, "but all of our rooms are occupied." Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. "What luck," said Mrs. Goldstein. "Now there’s a room. "Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed." "Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic." "I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?" "Jesus, Son of Mary." "Where was he born?" "In a stable." "And why was he born in a stable?" "Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!"
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has 76.72 % from 865 votes. More jokes about: god, jewish, racist, time, winter
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, couple, death, winter