Joke #11686

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

A boastful hunter kept telling his buddies the same story, and they chided him for telling it over and over. He reminded them that they often tell the same stories. "Not so," said one friend. "We re-share, you repeat."

Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools". "OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."

You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.

Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.

Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.

Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.

Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig. That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.

(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"

These two guys are riding in a convertible down a road in the desert, the road runs alongside a railroad as they are driving, as they are driving a train goes past, on the train a guy is on the train, clutching his stomach and grunting, his buddy leans over, and asks him, "What the hell is wrong with you?" The guy replies, "I gotta shit real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!" His buddy tells him "Hang your ass out the window, and let it fly." The guy hangs his ass out the window and the shi t flies back and hits the convertible. The guys in the convertible say "Damn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!" The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his ass". After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down. His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up." His friend says "No!" The other guy says "Why". His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a bitch!"

A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.