Joke #11686

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
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has 23.07 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: friendship, republican

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A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
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has 48.76 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: democrat, genie, political, republican, stupid
Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
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has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: geography, life, republican
Well goodnight everyone. I have to get up early tomorrow to do nothing and still make more money than all of you!
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: money, political, republican
Two Italian men get on a bus... They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
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has 80.12 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: communication, ethnic, friendship, sex, vulgar
Two friends run into each other while walking their dogs. One suggests lunch. The other says, "They won't let us in a restaurant with pets." Undeterred, the first guy and his German shepherd head into the restaurant. The maître d' stops them, saying, "Sir, you can't bring your dog in here." "But I'm blind," the man replies, "and this is my guide dog." The maître d', apologizing profusely, shows both man and dog to a table. His friend waits five minutes, then tries the same routine. "You have a Chihuahua for a guide dog?" the skeptical maître d' says. "A Chihuahua?" the man says. "Is that what they gave me?"
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has 84.37 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dog, food, friendship, health, time
Two new deer hunters decided to separate to increases their chances. "What if we get lost?" says one of them. "Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour," says the other. "I saw it on TV." Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three shots up into the air every hour on the hour. The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. "Did you do what I said?" asked the hunter. "Yes, I fired three shots up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: friendship, hunting, time
Yo mama's so dumb that when she saw the "Under 17 not admitted" sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: age, friendship, stupid, Yo mama
Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig. That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.
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has 32.71 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, insulting, political, republican
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: insulting, men, republican, women