Joke #11690

I just recently discovered that there is a national holiday named after Atheism. April FOOLS day. Like this story in the name of Jesus.

Put tape over the optical sensor of someone's mouse.

You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.

Jesus walks into an inn and hands the innkeeper 3 nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?"

The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."

The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.

Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died? A: Act stupid until I get back.

My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.

Find a sleeping person, fill their hand with shaving cream and then tickle their nose.

Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.

Put a "Please Use Other Door" sign on the entrance to your office building if it only has one entrance.