Joke #11690

I just recently discovered that there is a national holiday named after Atheism. April FOOLS day. Like this story in the name of Jesus.

April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.

My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.

Paint a bar of soap completely with clear nail polish so it won't suds up.

Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.

Q: How does Jesus celebrate Easter? A: He gets a manicure, pedicure, and has his nails polished.

Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.

There were two nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It was getting dark and they are far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to make love to us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. A little while later… SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way He cannot follow us both. The man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrived at the convent and was worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrived. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants dow

The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.

You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.

Jesus won't come back again. Why? Because he know you will kill him and see if he will wake up again.