Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.
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Put a "Please Use Other Door" sign on the entrance to your office building if it only has one entrance.
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Write a message on an upside-down paper cup that alludes to something horrible being trapped under it.
Leave it on a coworker's desk or in a conference room.
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Pull on a coworker is to press ctrl+print screen on their workstation, then paste it into Paint, save the pic, and set it as the desktop background.
Move all of their icons to the trash.
When they get back to their desk, clicking won't accomplish anything!
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A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.
"Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up."
"Oh, no.”" the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come back."
The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear."
"That’s what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let’s do that."
Six months later the lady charges into the doctor’s office.
"Well, how’s the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks.
"Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made."
"What’s wrong?" asks the doctor.
"Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers.
"Lady," the doctor reports, "those aren’t bags, those are your boobs, and if you don’t leave that screw alone, you’re going to have a beard!"
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle.
"Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said.
"What fer?" asked Pyle.
"Shorter hours."
"Good fer them!" said the redneck.
"Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
Place a pair of pants and shoes inside the only toilet stall in a rest room to make it appear someone is using it all day.
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I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood.
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Fill someone's hair-dryer with baby powder.
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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