Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time?
A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
A: He thought he saw a job.
A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it.
After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.
After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.
Vote:
There was this atheist and he was in the woods.
And suddenly he heard some leaves cracking.
He looked behind and there was a huge bear behind him.
He started running and running and soon the bear was right on top of him and his paw was on top of him like he was going to swat him but suddenly he saw this big light appear and said; “For all these years you have despised me and now you call for my help.”
The atheist said, “I’m sorry God. If you can’t help me, can’t you at least turn the bear into a Christian?
Then the light disappeared.
Then the bear knelt down and said, “Bless me Lord for this meal I’m about to receive!”
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car.
"What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother.
Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
Vote:
Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Vote: