Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it. After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible. After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help. She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.
Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? A: He thought he saw a job.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a Nintendo GameCube and turned it into a Gameboy.
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".