Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
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Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time?
A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
A: He thought he saw a job.
A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it.
After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.
After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.
Vote:
After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, "Everyone should call in and give one word for that game."
"What's your word?" the host
replied.
"Bored out of my mind," said the caller.
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said
"I bet I can walk across the water."
He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said
"They did it that means I do it." ,
He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?"
Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
Vote:
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car.
"What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother.
Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
Vote:
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins.
I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the donkey.
"Your name is written inside the cover."