Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it. After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible. After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help. She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.
Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? A: He thought he saw a job.
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"? A: He got crucified
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
At a Wednesday evening church meeting a very wealthy man rose to give his testimony. "I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I can still remember the turning point in my faith, like it was yesterday: I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work. I knew that I only had a dollar bill and had to either give it all to God's work or nothing at all. So at that moment I decided to give my whole dollar to God. I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why I am a rich man today." As he finished it was clear that everyone had been moved by this man's story. But, as he took his seat, a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and said: "Wonderful story! I dare you to do it again!"
Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.