Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? A: He thought he saw a job.
Chuck Norris once won a Poker tournament using only Pokemon cards.
Q: What animal could Noah not trust? A: Cheetah.
A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: "How about you go brew us some coffee?" Wife: "That's your job." Hasband: "Says who?" Wife : "The bible, it's on just about every page." Husband: "The bible don't say anything about brewing coffee." Wife (Holding her Bible flipping pages): "See every page Hebrews, Hebrews, hebrews."
There was this atheist and he was in the woods. And suddenly he heard some leaves cracking. He looked behind and there was a huge bear behind him. He started running and running and soon the bear was right on top of him and his paw was on top of him like he was going to swat him but suddenly he saw this big light appear and said; “For all these years you have despised me and now you call for my help.” The atheist said, “I’m sorry God. If you can’t help me, can’t you at least turn the bear into a Christian? Then the light disappeared. Then the bear knelt down and said, “Bless me Lord for this meal I’m about to receive!”
When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.