Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? A: He thought he saw a job.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
A teacher asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories. She was puzzled by a boy's picture which showed four people on an aircraft, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. 'The flight to Egypt,' he replied. 'I see... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,' she said. 'But who's the fourth person?' 'Oh, that's Pontius – the Pilot!'
I just recently discovered that there is a national holiday named after Atheism. April FOOLS day. Like this story in the name of Jesus.
A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning. The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first. The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job. The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it. The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it. She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible? A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.