Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? A: He thought he saw a job.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?
The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
I just recently discovered that there is a national holiday named after Atheism. April FOOLS day. Like this story in the name of Jesus.
A man was beaten up by robbers on the road. He lay on the side of the road, half dead. A humanist came along, saw him and passed by on the other side. A Samaritan came by and also crossed to the other side. Finally, a modern Christian came along, looked at the man and said: "Whoever did this to you needs help."
A teacher asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories. She was puzzled by a boy's picture which showed four people on an aircraft, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. 'The flight to Egypt,' he replied. 'I see... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,' she said. 'But who's the fourth person?' 'Oh, that's Pontius – the Pilot!'
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.