Joke #11757

Q: What's grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall? A: A tax accountant riding an elephant.
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Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. "That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk. "What are the eight cents for?" asks the blonde. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging." "Tax," replies the clerk. "Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."
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What's gray and powdery? Instant Elephant.
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Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
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I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money.
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Old man O'Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow O'Malley of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Brian O'Malley as well as I did, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
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At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."
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Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
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