Joke #11766

Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: travel, winter

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One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?" To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!" The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the mens cammode, wait for a young pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm". The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin', shakin', and mumbling about how cold he was. The first flea exclaimed "Didn't you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?" To which the second flea replied, "I did just as you said; I went to the mens cammode and this pilot came in and sat down, I climbed right up between his butt cheeks and it was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache!
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has 72.26 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: airplane, bar, gay, travel, winter
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
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has 55.91 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: bird, geography, travel, winter
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
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has 35.51 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death, travel, winter
Yo momma's so fat when she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, travel, Yo mama
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
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has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women
A man comes home alone from work. Suddenly he hears this voice saying: "Now its time to quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Las Vegas." He doesn't pay much attention to it but after a week hearing the same voice, he thinks ok! He quits his job, sells his house, withdraws all his money and goes to Vegas. The moment he steps out of the plane the voice tells him "Find the nearest casino!" He enters a casino and the voice says: " Go to the roulette-table and put all your money on 17 black! He complies and the croupier spins the wheel and says "Rien ne va plus" 21 RED! And then the voice goes "Damn!"
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: game, money, time, travel, work
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween? A: On blood vessels.
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has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween, travel
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank.
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has 56.75 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: money, winter
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
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has 66.17 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference. Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius." Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!" Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..." Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: phone, technology, winter, work