Joke #12019

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: winter

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Q: What do pirates wear in the winter? A: Long Johns!
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: pirate, winter
Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
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has 73.41 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. "Excuse me," she said to the manager. "My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks." "I’m awfully sorry," he replied, "but all of our rooms are occupied." Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. "What luck," said Mrs. Goldstein. "Now there’s a room. "Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed." "Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic." "I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?" "Jesus, Son of Mary." "Where was he born?" "In a stable." "And why was he born in a stable?" "Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!"
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has 76.69 % from 864 votes. More jokes about: god, jewish, racist, time, winter
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
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has 38.91 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, winter, women
Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, winter
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
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has 40.31 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport, winter
Fishing in a frozen lake It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fish, sport, time, winter
Q: What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night? A: Cold cream!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: beauty, wife, winter
My mother has painted a picture with such cold colours that if I want to take a look at it closely, I must have an anorak, the gloves, the winter cap and a scarf on, not to freeze.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: family, winter
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
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has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women