Joke #12019

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: winter

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To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
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has 58.86 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems, winter
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
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has 17.23 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: men, stupid, winter, women
After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge. As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed. Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!" A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!" I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, sex, sport, winter
Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
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has 72.87 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, winter
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death, travel, winter
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? A: Have an ice day!
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: winter
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him. She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load." He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
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has 73.01 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, driving, winter, work
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: baby, wife, winter