Joke #12019

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: winter

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Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, winter
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
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has 66.17 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, couple, death, winter
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter? A: They're easier to spot.
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has 54.37 % from 450 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, racist, vulgar, winter
Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance? A: To snowballs.
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has 63.12 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: winter
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia. Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure." Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..." What to do? Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea. So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?" The Chinese replies: "Right now!" Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic... Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.
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has 52.92 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, political, war, winter, work
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
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has 55.91 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: bird, geography, travel, winter
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
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has 20.29 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: men, stupid, winter, women
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, wife, winter
On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him. They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room. In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there. I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby. I did so. And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
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has 71.14 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting, friendship, winter