Joke #12019

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: winter

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Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter? A: They're easier to spot.
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has 54.73 % from 456 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, racist, vulgar, winter
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
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has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, couple, death, winter
Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?
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has 24.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, stupid, winter
Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
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has 27.59 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: new year, poems, winter
Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, winter
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, winter
One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?" To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!" The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the mens cammode, wait for a young pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm". The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin', shakin', and mumbling about how cold he was. The first flea exclaimed "Didn't you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?" To which the second flea replied, "I did just as you said; I went to the mens cammode and this pilot came in and sat down, I climbed right up between his butt cheeks and it was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache!
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has 72.26 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: airplane, bar, gay, travel, winter
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: 1. Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy. 2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend. 3. And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
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has 78.20 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: bird, friendship, life, winter
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: hipster, love, winter