My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
Bears do not eat bears. Tigers do not eat tigers. Dogs do not eat dogs. Cats stopped eating kebabs.
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.