Joke #11824

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
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Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
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A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off. The son admires the parked plains’ through the window. At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant. Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant. Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?" The boy shook his head positively. So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
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Teacher: Ramu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? Ramu: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
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I've trained my dog to bring me red wine. It's a Bordeaux collie.
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Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
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Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? A: Wet noses.
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Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter. The cashier asks, "Do you have a dog sir?" "Yes, it's at home," replies the man. "To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy," says the cashier. Next day the man goes places two cans of cat food on the counter. "Do you own a cat sir?" asks the cashier. "Yes I do, it's at home," says the man. "Well I am sorry sir. Store policy. I must see the cat before I can sell you cat food," says the cashier. The next day the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier. He has a brown paper bag in his hand. "Here," he says to the cashier, "put your hand in here." The cashier puts her hand in the brown paper bag. "It is all soft and warm," she says. "Yes, that's right," says the man, "I need to buy two rolls of toilet paper."
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Yo' Mama is so nasty, when she walks the dog, they both use the same bush.
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