Joke #11670

Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
Vote:
has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dog, relationship, single

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

My girlfriend told me that will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
Vote:
has 78.86 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, couple, love, relationship, single
I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me: "Are you alone?" So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone." "So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl. I fainted...
Vote:
has 75.60 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, single, women
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: love, relationship, single
Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."
Vote:
has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: relationship, single
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: relationship, single
Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.
Vote:
has 83.83 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dating, single, time
Guy goes to his psychiatrist and says "I'm in love with my dog." "Well that is not so unusual, millions of people love their dogs." "But doctor, you don't understand. I'm physically attracted to my dog. I'm in love with my dog." "Well, is your dog male or female?" "Female, of course, what the hell do you think I am, queer?"
Vote:
has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, dog, love
Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote:
has 47.81 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
Vote:
has 38.01 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dog, racist