Joke #11670

Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
Vote: has 78.03 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, relationship, single

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

My girlfriend told me that will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
Vote: has 80.00 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, couple, love, relationship, single
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Vote: has 74.71 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, relationship, single
Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, single
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, single
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, time, women
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, sex, single, women
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married. My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea! My girlfriend? She is a dream! But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister… This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses. Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear. She never did that in front of someone else! One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!" Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
Vote: has 85.11 % from 839 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, family, marriage, men, relationship
Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.
Vote: has 52.38 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geek, IT, single, technology
A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life. The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl" "But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says. "Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother. "But I'm not an American," the man says. "What are you then?" asks the mother. "I'm an Iranian," the man says. The next day he sees the newspaper headlines: Islamic Extr*mist kills American Dog.
Vote: has 75.96 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, dog, life
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Vote: has 80.60 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men, time