Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered: "I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?" "Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A: One molar solution.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!