Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
A: He didn't count with this...
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A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Three statisticians are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left.
The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right.
The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common?
A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
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Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven?
A:Because seven ate nine.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
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Two students talk:
"What are you reading?"
"Quantum physics theory book."
"But why are you reading it upside-down?"
"It makes no difference anyway."