Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson? They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak! They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used. You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot. They last longer and come with a warranty. You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle. They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it. They come in fashion colors. You can keep them in maximum zoom. They come with replaceable or adjustable parts. The parts that count are portable. They don’t mind over-exposure. They respond to the slightest touch. The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.