Joke #1184

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...

Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.

What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room.

In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.

Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...

A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "Canada, sir," the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there." "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada." "No sh*t?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle." "OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?" "A fottle, replies the inventor." "A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?" "I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton." "And what do you call that?" asks the clerk. "A farton", replies the inventor. "That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!" "In that case," says the inventor... "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."