Joke #3459

Q: Why are men so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.

How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.

Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie. They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk. The problem was getting Ken to listen.

Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.

Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.

A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store. He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it. So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir." "How can I help you" the employee replies. "Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?" The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"

"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.

How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.