Q: Why are men so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
A young woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a man wearing a cowboy hat. "Excuse me sir but are you a real cowboy?" The man says, "Well I have a ranch and horses. I go to rodeos and raise cattle and other livestock, so yes I suppose I'm a real cowboy." The woman says, "Well I think I'm a l*sbian. Women are always on my mind whether I'm working eating driving or whatever its still the same. I cant get women off my mind. Yes I think I'm a l*sbian." The young woman gets up and leaves the coffee shop. A short time later a young guy comes in and sits down next to the man and asks him, "Sir are you a real cowboy?" To that the man replies, "Well I always thought I was, but just a few minutes ago I found out I'm a l*sbian!"
What's the difference between a bachelor & a married man? Bachelor comes home, see's what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, see's what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions!
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"