Joke #3459

Q: Why are men so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, lawyer, men, tax
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: graduation, men, time, work
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, political, women
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
One day Mrs. Smith went to have a talk with the minister at thelocal church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this needle with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Smith is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Smith dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the needle. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Smith," said the minister. Soon, Mr.Smith nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Smith. "God!" Mr. Smith cried out as he was stuck again with the needle. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.Smith again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Smith mistook as signals to prod her husband with the needle again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Smith poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I’ll break it in half and shove it up your a***s!" "Amen," replied the congregation.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, god, husband, men, work
Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A: Who knows it's never been done.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Vote: has 77.64 % from 144 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men