Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.
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A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back.
When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back.
The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back.
The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor.
The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button?
Because there are blonde men too!
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"?
A: They want to watch their asses.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions!
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
Vote:
A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, "Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big."
He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, "Wooww Texas mugs are really big."
Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, "Strait on your right."
But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, "Don't flush don't flush!"