Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.” “No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?” “Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
Q: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant? A: He's had a loophole named after him.
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.