What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
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Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
Two gays were at a dance.
As they were jigging about the floor with each other.
Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?"
"No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
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Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.