What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
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Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains.
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.
A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"
They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen...
Two gays were at a dance.
As they were jigging about the floor with each other.
Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?"
"No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
What does a man call true love?
An erection.
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?
The hero always gets his man in the end.
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.