Joke #1186

What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
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How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
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Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
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A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" Wife says, "I would take half and leave you". Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
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Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
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The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
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Five Important Qualities 1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
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Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie. They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk. The problem was getting Ken to listen.
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John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
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Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
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