Joke #1186

What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: men

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John was in trouble, really big trouble. You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you're married, you can imagine what he's probably going through. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" She was serious too, so John got serious. The next morning he woke up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation. Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale. John has been missing since Thursday.
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has 79.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms? A: So gay guys can play star wars.
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has 64.01 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, men, sex
Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
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has 74.73 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, drunk, men
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: business, men
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, heaven, men
A man bought a new car. Next day he is driving his car to office. On the way he was waiting for the Signal. Suddenly he opened the door and got down. Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, "How much should I pay to turn right?" The Policeman was astonished and asked, "Why are you asking like this?" Then man showed him the sign board which was in the corner of the road: "Free Left Turn"
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: men