Joke #4834

Why did God create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men

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Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat? A: The Grape-full Dead!
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has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wine
A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly. After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says "If my proof falls then I rome through the halls." Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob. The man is confused and says "what are you doing?" She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some." The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did. Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good. The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping "Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch." Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?" She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
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has 32.38 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: couple, dirty, men, stupid, women
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
How do you know if a man is lying? His lips are moving!
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has 20.85 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body? A: He is all right now.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, time, women
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, time