Joke #11865

Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast? A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: travel, weather

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All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: travel, weather, work
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel, weather
Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. "Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked. "Can you describe it?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, geography, stupid, weather
A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island. After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford. They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree. "What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?" "Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?" "A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it. "Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?" "Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right." "Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fucking!"
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, sex, time, travel
Yo mama's so fat that when she puts on a jumper it's known as global warming.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fat, weather, Yo mama
Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?” “Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied. “Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I’ll go down there and get her.”
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, food, old people, weather
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, weather
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” Second one says, “No, its Thursday!” Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: beer, old people, weather