Joke #11867

There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.

I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!

It was very hot, and this guy runs to a nearby store to buy a hand fan. There were two similar fans in make and model but one was 25 cents and the other was 50 cents. The guy opted for the cheaper one thinking that they work the same way. Before he left the store, the owner tried to impress on the buyer on how each works, but the buyer was not interested - a fan is a fan is a fan, and he knows how to work it. The 25 cent fan broke. He came back yelling and screaming that the fan was no good. The owner explained that he should have got the operating instructions: "With the 50 cent fan, you move your wrist left and right to get the air flowing. With the 25 cent fan which works differently, you hold the fan steady in your wrist and move your head left to right to get the air flowing."

That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.

Q: What are the hottest days during summer? A: Sun-days

With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.

I just saw a mexjcan guy walking down the street with a tv and I thought " wow, that looks just like mine." But I knew mine was at home shining my shoes.

Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."

Yo Momma SO STUPID WHEN THEY SAID THAT IT IS CHILLY OUTSIDE, SHE WENT OUTSIDE WITH A BOWL AND A SPOON.

Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.

There was a tornado in my area the other day. The sky was so black; it took my bike.