There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days.
It's called Monday.
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I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like.
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
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It was very hot, and this guy runs to a nearby store to buy a hand fan.
There were two similar fans in make and model but one was 25 cents and the other was 50 cents.
The guy opted for the cheaper one thinking that they work the same way.
Before he left the store, the owner tried to impress on the buyer on how each works, but the buyer was not interested - a fan is a fan is a fan, and he knows how to work it.
The 25 cent fan broke.
He came back yelling and screaming that the fan was no good.
The owner explained that he should have got the operating instructions:
"With the 50 cent fan, you move your wrist left and right to get the air flowing. With the 25 cent fan which works differently, you hold the fan steady in your wrist and move your head left to right to get the air flowing."
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Joke has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: customer service, money, stupid, technology, weather
That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
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Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!
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I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina.
So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
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Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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What is the similarities between a black girl, and a tornado?
They both suck, blow, and leave you homeless!
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A guy tells his friends:
The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
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A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not.
Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does.
He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?"
The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."