Joke #11867

There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.

I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!

It was very hot, and this guy runs to a nearby store to buy a hand fan. There were two similar fans in make and model but one was 25 cents and the other was 50 cents. The guy opted for the cheaper one thinking that they work the same way. Before he left the store, the owner tried to impress on the buyer on how each works, but the buyer was not interested - a fan is a fan is a fan, and he knows how to work it. The 25 cent fan broke. He came back yelling and screaming that the fan was no good. The owner explained that he should have got the operating instructions: "With the 50 cent fan, you move your wrist left and right to get the air flowing. With the 25 cent fan which works differently, you hold the fan steady in your wrist and move your head left to right to get the air flowing."

That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.

Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.

Yo' Mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed a two-hour special of "Lost."

What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1

Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.

Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected

Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"

Yo Momma so fat, she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake.