Q: What are the hottest days during summer?
A: Sun-days
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Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
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Yo mama's so fat that when she puts on a jumper it's known as global warming.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream.
They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?"
So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned.
"I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts."
And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
Why do blondes like lightning?
"They think someone is taking their picture."
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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Yo mama so fat when she burped New Orleans thought Katrina came back to finish the job.
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel.
If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites.
Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.