Joke #11881

Q: What are the hottest days during summer? A: Sun-days
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: weather

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Yo momma’s so stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside she ran and got a bowl.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, weather, Yo mama
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
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has 36.34 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: family, racist, school, weather
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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has 79.84 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?" "'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: mean, redneck, vulgar, weather
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?" The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical. With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick. Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is." The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly. Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
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has 81.89 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: hospital, men, time, weather
Vaginas are like weather. When it's wet, it's time to go inside.
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has 78.01 % from 1417 votes. More jokes about: sex, weather
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?” “Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied. “Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I’ll go down there and get her.”
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, food, old people, weather
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.
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has 78.89 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, weather
As I shopped, the following announcement came over the department store's PA system: "If someone here has a convertible with the top down, it just started raining. Towels are located in aisle five."
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has 81.40 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, weather