Q: What are the hottest days during summer?
A: Sun-days
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Q: How did the hail stone describe its life?
A: It really has a lot of ups and downs.
Vaginas are like weather.
When it's wet, it's time to go inside.
There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill?
A Avalanche.
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Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather?
A. Drizzle
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat.
"But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously.
"Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly.
"After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
Q: Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people?
A: California got first pick.
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A guy buys his first motorcycle.
The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting.
A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house.
Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.
After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break.
After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up.
He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family.
No one says a word.
Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her.
Silence.
Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table.
Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance.
The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket.
"OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"
Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!"
The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone.
One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?"
The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain.
One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"