Q: What are the hottest days during summer?
A: Sun-days
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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Yo mama so fat when she burped New Orleans thought Katrina came back to finish the job.
Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
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There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days.
It's called Monday.
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom:
“Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.
” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:
“Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel.
If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites.
Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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