Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes. Who survives?
America.
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Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!
Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
Vote:
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money."
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said, "You cannot do this, I'm a congressman!"
The thief replied, "In that case, give me MY money!"
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
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You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.
Vote:
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds?
It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Yo mama so fat even Donald Trump can't make as big of a wall as her.
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.
It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.